Susie Looking Down From Heaven

Alice Sebold's The Lovely Bones begins with a fourteen year old girl named Susie Salmon, who gets murdered. She is murdered by a man named Mr. Harvey, and the novel is told from Susie's point of view while she is in heaven. At the very beginning, Susie chooses a quote that she believes marks her, and that quote is "If they give you ruled paper, write the other way" (Sebold 5). I believe that this quote describes her because after she is murdered, she describes heaven in a very normal and optimistic way. Normally, after a person is murdered, they would be devastatingly sad and despise their murderer for taking their lives. Instead, Susie does not seem to lament her death and seek revenge. Not only does she not strive for Mr. Harvey’s arrest, but she also watches Mr. Harvey while he gets rid of her body parts that he had cut up. Susie is not uncomfortable when she watches her murderer, which makes it hard to believe, because I would think that she would despise seeing him or would be afraid of him. Therefore, the quote that Susie picks definitely suits her personality because she does not behave the way a normal person would. My impression of Susie is that she is a unique and kind individual. She goes against what is typical which leads me to believe that she will forgive Mr. Harvey for murdering her in the end. I also believe this because Susie really loves her family and she puts others before herself. When she is watching her family from heaven, she feels for her family. For example, Susie is watching her sister, Lindsey, talk to the boy that she likes, and when she sees "Lindsey's face [flush]; [hers flushes] up in heaven" as well (Sebold 71). Susie is more concerned about her sister being happy than herself being dead. Not only does Susie care about her sister, but she is also very protective of her brother, Buckley. In order to protect him, she "[has] never even let herself yearn for Buckley, afraid he might see [her] image in a mirror or a bottle cap" (Sebold 91). Susie would rather have herself suffer, than risk the chance of her younger brother accidently seeing her image. Now that she is dead, her image will appear if she yearns for someone. Susie knows that her younger brother would not be able to handle her death. Therefore, she must protect him from harm.  Susie is really attached to her family and really cherishes them, especially her father. When she was alive, Susie and her father would make bottled ships together whenever they had time. It was a little hobby that the two of them shared. Due to the strong attachment to her family, I believe that she will focus her love and energy watching her family, than waste her time loathing Mr. Harvey. To continue, I get the impression that Susie is an introverted and shy person, because she "never felt comfortable with adults" (Sebold 7). Another impression that I have of Susie, is that she does not want to face reality. Susie believes that if she misses her family, it will "mean that [she] has accepted that [she] would never be with them again" (Sebold 27). I can relate to this because Susie is only fourteen years old, which demonstrates her immaturity and how she wants to run away from reality, which is her death.

Battling With Myself

    Sitting in my squeaky chair with my clammy hands resting on top of my lap, I listened nervously as Mr. McBurney was telling the Spectrum Nine class about previous adventurous Strathcona trips. I was dreading the outdoor trip all year long because of all the worries I had about the trip. I felt like I was the only one unsure about going to Strathcona, which made th situation even worse. As I looked around the crowded classroom, I saw that all my classmates had smiles on their faces which brought my dismay. No matter how many times Mr. McBurney told us how awesome the trip was going to be, all I could think about was how challenging the trip was. Thoughts of failure drowned out Mr. McBurney's booming voice, and they convinced me that I would not succeed, before I even faced the challenge of surviving the outdoors.

    Unfortunately, the day finally came and we had to go to Strathcona. Once I got off the stuffy charter bus, I saw the familiar scene of the blue lake out front with wooden cabins that dotted the trails. We indolently made our way to the basketball court with our back-breaking backpacks strapped tightly onto our backs. Just when I thought that I could relax, the canoe group, which was the group that I was in, was called aside. I knew that this could not be good news. We were told that we would be embarking on our four day journey after dinner that night. Instantly, a sick feeling started to brew in my stomach and I felt an uncomfortable, twisted knot start to form. Instead of spending two nights outdoors like the other lucky groups, I would be spending three long nights! I thought I was going to have a panic attack right on the spot, but thankfully, I calmed myself by taking deep breaths. Sooner than I wanted, we were driving to our camp site in a white family van. The heater was turned on so high that it was almost suffocating. I did not understand why, but I kept telling myself that this trip would be horrible and that I would not survive. Looking out the car window, I was distracted by the mesmerizing scenery. I stared at the clear glistening lake, with reflections of the surrounding mountains laying restlessly on top. Seeing this, the tension in my shoulders loosened. Maybe this trip would not be so terrible after all.

    The next morning, after eating a bird-like breakfast, which consisted of seeds, berries, and oatmeal, we started  on our canoe trip. Part of me was anxious to start canoeing so we could complete the trip faster, but an even more dominating part of me was dying to teleport back home and crawl under my covers. After pushing the steel canoes into the murky water, I looked up at the sky and it was crowded with angry, grey clouds. What a happy start, I thought to myself. Paddling for almost an hour, it started to rain raindrops that were the size of marbles. Paddling desperately through the walls of white waves that were smashing against the dainty canoe, I felt my nightmares coming to life. This was only the first hour of my trip and I was already doubting my abilities. I looked up from under my wet hood and I could finally make out the shape of an island. When I got out of the canoe, I felt so proud of myself for canoeing through the tumultuous waves. I looked at my friends' faces and I saw that some of them were still smiling. I thought to myself, maybe if I was more optimistic, I could be like them too, and this trip would actually be more enjoyable.

    As the days passed, each day got more and more challenging. I thought, what could be worse than the first canoeing experience, but I knew there was much worse when we had to protage for two hours straight through a dense forest that was flooded by the heavy rain. Reflecting on the trip, the trip was a great challenge, but now I realize that a bigger challenge that I had to face was myself. Before going to Strathcona and the first two days there, I allowed my nerves to take control. I made myself believe that the trip would be horrible and I already adjusted myself into thinking that I would be the weakest. The negative thoughts not only made the trip challenging, but it also brought my spirits down. If only I was more optimistic, then my trip would have been a lot more interesting and fun. Thankfully, towards the end of the trip I was able to overcome my greatest challenge, which was myself, and was able to have an eye-opening experience. If everyone can be more optimistic and eager when facing challenges, then their greatest challenge would not be themselves.