Please Go Away Fears?

No one is fearless in the world. Everyone lives with some kind of fear, little or big. Fears can range from the fear of insects, to the fear of failure. I believe even Superman has fears! Therefore, if someone told me that they have no fears, I know that they are lying. One thing I know for sure though, is that I have fears of my own. The first fear that I have is a fear of making the wrong decision. I have this fear because I know that if I make the wrong choice, I will have to face an unpleasant consequence. For instance, at the beginning of this semester, I was not sure if I should stay in the English Enriched class. I was not confident in myself, and believed that I would not be able to handle the class. I was then faced with a dilemma, should I stay in English Enriched, or should I switch out of the class and take regular English. This decision was extremely difficult to make because I feared that I would make the wrong decision, and regret it later on in my life. If I chose to stay in English Enriched, and I was not capable of the workload, I would be really stressed and do poorly. On the other hand, what if the class is really interesting, and will help me improve my English skills? I was really scared at that point, and I did not want to make the wrong decision because it could hurt me. In the end, I chose to stay, and I am grateful that I made the right decision.

My second fear is my fear of embarrassing myself. This fear is a big disadvantage for me because whenever I attempt to avoid embarrassing myself, I tend to do the exact opposite Negative thoughts of failure run through my mind, and these thoughts attack the little confidence that I have. For example, when I play basketball in front of people, I get really nervous because I do not want to embarrass myself by air- balling, or not catching a pass. When I start thinking about all the mistakes that I could make, nervousness starts to creep up on me, and control me. When this happens, I do not do my best, which results in me failing. In other words, I embarrass myself. Another example is when I get nervous about reading or speaking to an audience. My fear of embarrassing myself surfaces when I think of all the things that can go wrong when I read. I could get all tongue-tied, and everyone would not be able to understand me. I could mispronounce a word, and sound stupid. These are all the ways that I could possibly embarrass myself. When I think of all the mistakes that I can make, I get nervous, and when I get nervous I make mistakes. This is a cycle. First I the fear of embarrassing myself suffocate me, then I think negatively, which needs to me being nervous, and results in me embarrassing myself. I wish to be able to break this cycle one day. I guess I just have to overcome my fear.

Steps Towards Heaven

 

In Alice Sebold’s The Lovely Bones, she utilizes symbolism to reveal Susie’s thoughts and feelings. These symbols also foreshadow the future, by representing Susie hope and anger. Through these quotes, Susie’s character is fully understood.

The first quote that I found was significant to The Lovely Bones is:

            ‘If you stop asking why you were killed instead of someone else, stop
            investigating the vacuum left by your loss, stop wondering what everyone
            left on Earth is feeling,’ she said, ‘ you can be free. Simply put, you have to
            give up on Earth’ This seemed impossible to me (Sebold 120).
This quote reveals that Susie is still really attached to Earth and is still having troubles accepting her death. She is unable to leave her family once and for all, which shows how difficult it is to cut off all of one’s feelings for loved ones. Even though Susie wants to truly live in heaven, she is not willing to give up her ability of watching life on Earth. She is at the stage where she does not belong on Earth, nor does she belong in heaven. This reflects her feelings as well. She has accepted her death, but she still cannot bear to end her ties with her family on Earth. She is still not ready to allow herself to cross the border into the place she belongs, heaven.  In heaven, Susie can live in an environment of her choosing and be happy, but instead, she chooses to desperately deal with her death along with her father, her mother, her sister, and her friends. At this point, Susie feels that it is impossible for her to move on in her after-life because she is unable to stop questioning the past, and leaving her family spiritually.

The second quote that I believe is really important to the novel is "'How to Commit the Perfect Murder' was an old game in heaven. I always chose the icicle: the weapon melts away" (Sebold 125). This quote reveals a lot about Susie's character because by choosing an icicle as her weapon, her kindness is shown. It is also very interesting that Susie chooses an icicle as her weapon because when icicles are hard, they are considered a dangerous weapon, but once it melts, it is no longer a threat, but just a puddle of water. The icicle also symbolizes Susie's purity and innocence because water is considered pure. Instead of focusing on revenge and becoming an angry person after her murder, she wishes that murder incidents can melt away like icicles, and evaporate. Unlike water that is easily polluted, Susie does not become contaminated by her murder, by turning into a vengeful person. The icicle melting away also reveals that Susie could possibly forgive Mr. Harvey in the future, and her hatred for him will melt away as time passes.

This third quote is also significant to the novel because it clearly illustrates Susie's personality by revealing her love for her father:

I wanted my father's vigil, his tight love for me. But also I wanted him to

Go away and leave me be. I was granted one weak grace. Back in the room

where the green chair was still warm from his body, I blew that lonely,

flickering candle out (Sebold 140).

This quote reveals that Susie is not one bit selfish. Even though it kills her to let go of her father, she still wishes that her father will give up, and not search for her murderer anymore. Susie understands that this is the best for her father, because if he searches further, he could possibly get hurt emotionally, and physically. Susie knows that his father is slowly dying inside because he is unable to prove that Mr. Harvey is the one who murdered his daughter. Susie knows that everyone wants her father to move on with his life. She is also aware that the hole in her father’s heart will never fully heal, but she does wish that he will be able to let go, and continue on with his life. There is also symbolism in this quote. The lonely, flickering candle that Susie blows out symbolizes his father's hope and determination. His hope and determination is slowly dying away, just like how Susie is slowly leaving their lives. Everyone is starting to accept her death, and Susie wants her father to feel the same way, so he will not be in constant pain. Even her mother is starting to let go and accept reality. The action of Susie blowing out the candle symbolizes her letting go and maybe possibly forgiving her murderer. Also, Susie once said that it is impossible for her to say goodbye to her family in order to get to heaven, but her blowing out the candle is her first step towards heaven.

In conclusion, Susie’s personality and her love for her family are translated through these three quotes. She is slowly letting go and is realizing that she no longer belongs on Earth. One step at a time, she is making her way towards heaven, and leaving the realm between Earth and heaven behind.

Invasion of CPU and TXT Language :O

I believe that computer language and texting abbreviations are degrading not only the English language, but also our society. Abbreviations are only used because people are lazy and want to complete tasks faster. If the English language moves toward that direction, is the movement saying that everyone is becoming lazy? I do not oppose using texting abbreviations and computer language, but I believe that there is a certain time and place to use it. For example, I use computer language when I talk to friends online because it is more convenient and faster to type, but I know not to use the same kind of language in essays that I hand in. Therefore, I do not think that it is suitable to use computer language and texting abbreviations for classroom assignments and resumes. If I was an employer and I saw a resume with these abbreviations, the first thought that would rush to my mind, is that the person does not care. I will think that the person is in a rush and could care less about getting the job. If the person could not take the time to write a formal resume, what does this reflect about the employee's working attitude and habits?

Computer language and texting abbreviations are not only inappropriate in the working environment, but it is also inappropriate in school. If students handed in assignments filled with abbreviations and computer language, I would find it extremely disrespectful because I believe school is a serious matter. In addition, if teachers started to write everything in computer language and texting abbreviations, then formal language and proper spellings of words would be lost forever because everyone will move away from spelling words the proper way and writing formally. The English language would then be moving back in time instead of moving forward and improving. Words and language that was once developed would be broken down and lost.